Cars+Wine+KoreanGenius=JawDrop

You all know how the Mario theme song goes, right? You know, “Doo doo doo, doo doo do do, do do d-do do do do d-do doo” Well anyway, I sure hope you do because if you don’t then you are missing out on a whole wide world of Mario theme song imitations and remakes. This world is often filled with generic, unimpressive schemes of how to recreate the diddy — guitar renditions, saxophone renditions, vocal renditions…uh…theramin renditions (actually, just kidding. But that might be totally rad. And by totally rad I mean TOTALLY 100% RAD). But today, the wonderful television brought to me a couple of little surprises — a remote-controlled car and half-filled wine bottles! It’s a perfect match. Watch for yourself.

The first time I saw this, I’m pretty sure my jaw was completely disconnected from my face. I mean, come on. That really must have taken a lot of work. First the bottles had to be emptied to the right level so the right note would be made when they were hit. As far as I can tell, the notes were pretty spot on. To figure that out would take more patience+trialanderror than I could handle. And there is no denying that there are A LOT of bottles in that line, which means a lot of wine downed, and no doubt a lot of money spent. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it’s still impressive. The bottles then had to be placed in the correct position in the line to obtain the correct not length. The car’s path also had to be worked out so that it wouldn’t knock over the bottles, as you can see at the beginning of the video. Yeah, that’s impressive. Very impressive.

Look! It’s my brains!

The local EMT’s decided to set up a triage exercise located at my school tonight. They were in need of “victims” to practice on, so my drama teacher recruited a bunch of his students to join in all the fun. You know, gaping head wounds made of clay, plastic third degree burns, makeup bruises — SERIOUS STUFF, PEOPLE! The process of creating the illusions was quite entertaining. My favorite person of the whole night was my friend Natalie. She was the lucky recipient of the gaping head wound, which we would later find out killed her.

Pre-injury.

Mid-makeup.

That bottle of blood was “zesty mint flavor”, you know, in case you want to drink some blood. It’s safe. Don’t worry. Go for it.

Pre-blood.

Ready to be dead!

I know, I know. 100% totally rad, right? I know. Her skull is TOTALLY STICKING OUT OF HER HEAD and the blood is RUNNING DOWN HER FACE. Yeah, rad. After the makeup was finished, the kids were placed in the hall in an attempt to make it look like some sort of horrific accident had occurred in the high school. Unfortunately, my camera battery decided to give out so that I couldn’t properly document the most exciting part of the night. I resorted to using my phone.

I’M IN SHOCK! in the foreground. THIRD DEGREE BURNS! over on the right. Miscellaneous other injuries throughout the hall.

The kid on the left has no arm. The young lad on the right has a piece of glass STUCK IN HIS FACE and was doing a very good job of being IN PAIN.

When it was time, the EMT’s slowly wandered through the hall. In a painfully nonchalant manner, they assessed each injured person, labeling them a certain color(red, yellow, green and black I think) based on their apparent injuries. Let me just say…EMT’s, isn’t this supposed to be an emergency? A major disaster? I mean, that’s the point of triage, right? So step it up! Hustle hustle hustle!!

Secret photo of an EMT assessing a dead Natalie. It went a little like this…EMT: “Let’s see…are you…dead per chance?” N: “Yup!”

Close-up of dead Natalie.

This was probably the most intense injury. For a second, I may have even thought it was real.

I hope it stained the floor. I want to see the look on students’ faces when they see that the entrance the their U.S. History classroom has BLOOD SPLATTERED ALL OVER IT EEEEEWWW! I’m pretty sure someone might lose control of their bowels. Maybe. MAYBE.

Needless to say, this whole event was quite exciting. So much so that I think I overdid it with the caps lock in this post. Oh well.